Today, for the second time in two years, I lost my job. For exactly the same reason as the first time. The publishing company I worked for ceased publication of the magazine that employed me.
Although I would like to say something much stronger, I'll just say: "shit". (Sort of rolls off the tongue in times like these.)
So anyway - here's one thing that is supremely different this time around: my sense of personal value is not in the least compromised with this layoff. I am still the same person I was yesterday. The losing of the job is simply a circumstance, an event in my life. What is the same is that I am no longer getting paid. And I guess that constitutes a fairly significant "circumstance".
So what, pray, is next? I dump my purse and find it rather clean for a change. But rather boring too. So I sit here considering where this leaves me.
Well for one, I have much more time on my hands to manufacture another hypochondriacally induced terminal illness. In fact, I'm well on my way to one right now, but I choose not to give it any space here. (I'll just say that this time it involves my brain...)
Of course I am going to be looking again, but I kind of feel like my time in corporate America is over. Not that I want to it be necessarily, just a feeling. I image those feelings are common among the recently fired. No, not fired. Laid off. With no possible chance of re-hire.
So I guess that makes me responsible for generating some income on my own. And I am pursuing some things I wouldn't have ever considered in the past - all legal, of course. But I have also been sitting on an idea for a very long, long time. It involves writing a book (or a blog) that chronicles my personal journey in losing weight. Assuming I have a personal journey in me. Assuming I can start one. I do have an idea for it though. One that is different from anything else you may have seen or read. And even if you're skinny, it should be interesting. But if no one gives a shit about it (this word is getting some use today), at least I'll have lost weight. However, if people do like it, well maybe it will lead to something else. Though probably not a movie because you'd need to find a motivated, fat actress and and a studio and crew willing to commit to a shoot schedule of a year.
Of course there is always "Claymation"
1/11/11 is supposed to be lucky. We'll see.