There has been a lot of coverage lately of Chastity Bono's (daughter of Sonny & Cher) recent testosterone therapy and surgery to become Chas Bono, a man. A lot of money could have been saved had he just waited for menopause.
As I sit here, preparing for yet another birthday, I am considering the many things about my aging self that I, frankly, did not sign on for. With diminished levels of estrogen flowing through my body I have noted some unwelcome intrusions to my being that have just planted themselves and taken root like invasive ivy.
1. Tough, dry hands. Like men's hands since they rarely lotion. And like, overnight.
2. Thinning hair. I have always had a lot of hair - very thick. In fact, I still do. But I have noticed a small, little spot at the very crown of my head that requires a little more attention - teasing, product, and fussing with - to cover. And I am not amused.
3. Beer belly. Without the beer. I carry around a lot of extra weight but my waist has always been well defined. Except I am noticing the encroachment of what we women have always kindly referred to on our husbands as "love handles" - and this is very distressing. Because in truth men, there is no love for them.
4. Whiskers. Yes, I said it. You will not find many of us willing to admit it (because the thought of it brings on chest pains) but MOST women, after menopause, have this offensive thing happen to them. The soft unnoticeable peach fuzz on our chins can "switch sides" and randomly become coarse and dark, long - and sinister. And I have to learn to look for it daily. And I carry a tweezer in my purse now because the bathroom light is not reliable.
5. Sensitivity. Okay - this is not typically a masculine thing. I bring this up because it is the single feminine thing that most of us would gladly be rid of. But it has taken over my psyche like crabgrass and I cry over everything. And I mean everything. Like commercials that have pretty music. Or tough, dry hands. Or thinning hair. Or "love handles". Or whiskers.
Yes especially whiskers.