Funny, the power of a song.
But first, after all the buildup from a clearly over-enthusiastic casting director, we didn't get the call back. No commercial for the family after all. Go figure. We live to see another bubble burst.
I continue to look for a job, and there is one in particular I am cautiously excited about. It seems tailor-made to my skills and interests and I have a 3rd interview scheduled. Meanwhile I continue to look because I am surely not alone in wanting this job. Like maybe there are a hundred other applicants. Or a million.
There is no doubt, this is a whole new world we live in. Nothing is secure; no future is known. Making plans, doing what you know you should be doing, following the steps, will not necessarily yield the results you set your eye on anymore. With the economy capsized and still sinking, unemployment sustained at unbelievably high rates and a pervasive feeling across the country of distrust and anger, it is impossible to not feel the stress of it. And it has become natural - so much so, that we forget what "normal" feels like. It is a challenge to remember what it felt like just to walk around in life 5, 10, 20 years ago.
Today was a glorious day - perfect weather. Warm and sunny and the leaves are turning. I was preoccupied with the lists of concerns and needs and projects that I have been collecting. And then,driving to get Grace from school, I heard The Bangle's "Eternal Flame" come on the radio. Immediately I was in the 80's - big hair, big jewelry, big shoulders, big make-up. This is a photo of me the year that song came out. I could practically smell and touch it - I remembered it well. And I felt - well - different. I liked it. (..."I don't want to lose this feeling, oh"...) It was a good feeling, floating with the song and I tried to think - what is it? What am I feeling? I remember this feeling but what is it? (..."do you feel the same or am I only dreaming?"...) Is it that I am not stressing about something? Is it that I am not worrying about every sneeze? money? kids? What is this that I am feeling??? And then it suddenly occurred to me. I was feeling joy. (..."I believe it was meant to be"...)
So thank you God, for that moment of grace. It was awesome. We could all use a little more of it.
In the meantime, "is this burning an eternal flame?" Indeed it is. Clouds may be looming but God is in our yesterdays, todays and tomorrows - and we're gonna be alright, folks.